The long way to......

essays about my daily life. It will be something about India since it makes me happy and bothers me a lot.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

where my anger comes from?

My emotional anguish is getting out of control these days. It appears as a sudden burst of anger. I just want to know how I can calm my anger and have peaceful life again.


Maybe it is necessary to find out where it came from. Then I can remove the cause which is creating the pain. Or I can get a tip to how to live with the pain.


Yes. I know where it comes from. But it is impossible to remove it. I cannot do anything but adjusting since it is already there. Leaving is not the answer. The answer is to find a way to adjust. But I cannot help thinking that I wish I could erase all my memories from my brain. Every single word comes back to me again and again with more harshness. I wish I could just forget all of them.


I am so frustrated. I am so frustrated that I started to blame others. I started thinking it is all because of this bad posting! All Indians are hostile to me! My life sucks! I have all right reasons to get angry!


Wrong, wrong, wrong. I am the one who creates problems and make myself diminished.


I just want to get my self-esteem, self-respect and myself back. Maybe…the answer is in trying to make myself happy and cheer myself up. No more emotional craps on this blog.

2 Comments:

Blogger hikari said...

あやへ
日本語読めるんかな?
このメッセージ見たとき私まったく同じ気持ちやってん。
今の苛立ちを紛らわすためにネットサーフィンしたら、アヤのブログみて、なんかすごいじっと読み入ってしまったわ(-_-;)
同感してる場合じゃないけど、私も最近すごい情緒不安定やねん。なんとか自分をコントロールして嫌なことあってもポーカーフェイスでいなきゃってすごい思うんやけどなかなかむずかしくって><。
彼氏は全然悪くないのにちょっと彼のコメントに満足いかないだけで、いらいらしたりとかで、ほんと我儘ぶり満開↓
日本でゆったら4月は始まりの季節やしさ♪
前向きにがんばろ!

7:21 AM  
Blogger aya said...

ひーちゃん、

ありがとう。嬉しかった。
そう、とどのつまりは自分の感情をコントロールするってこと。大人にならないと。まずは深呼吸することからはじめています。

ひーちゃんは、私からするとすっごい、大人だよ。いい子だよ。いいところいっぱいあるから、自信持っていこう!

もっと、明るい内容書けるといいのだけど。頑張るぜ!

3:33 PM  

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